Siski

Summary
Siski, also known as Princess Siski, piski, or Russiantits, is a mythological Swedish deity commonly found in Norse runic tablets.

Siski is allegedly the son of giant trolls living in Uffleheimicsteinenschpiel, who would constantly challenge the god Thor to masturbation contests. Thor would win, of course, and eventually they just stayed in the mountains and banged all day.

An unintended consequence of this was Siski, who was born in 450 BC in the mountains of Sweden. He killed both his parents and ate their genitals to gain their powers and demanded Thor grant him the title of god, which he did.

Siski would roam the mountains, banging random village girls to prove his masculinity. However, during his journeys, he found a ring. This was not just any ring: it was the One Ring, the ring destined to change his life.

He hid in a mountain cave, spending hour after hour masturbating to the ring. Over time, his beard fell off, his hair grew longer and longer, and his skin grew pale and clammy. Soon he forgot all language, knowing only how to speak random babble – Swedish.

One of his many conquests, Gorge, followed him into the cave, and found him in this horrid state. Gorge brought the poor creature home with her, and made sweet love to him repeatedly until he regained his virility.

As of 2010, Gorge and Siski have combined powers to create the superhero known as Gorgski. He is also a sexy beast.